Moving your marriage from the rocks to the Rock – Series 002 – Building A strong Family altar

HOW TO RAISE A FAMILY ALTER TO PRESERVE YOUR MARRIAGE ( PART ONE)
Marriage is not just a physical act but an emotional and spiritual act. 1COR 6:15 -17 “Know ye not that your bodies are the members of Christ? shall I then take the members of Christ, and make them the members of an harlot? God forbid. What? Know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he , shall be one flesh. But he that is joined unto the Lord is one spirit. The apostle Paul while teaching on sexual purity to the Corinthian Church clarifies that the (marriage act)sexual act is not just a physical act , but has spiritual implications. He illustrates that a Christian engaging in immorality is not only defiling himself/herself , but is also defiling the body of Christ spiritually. Hence the spiritual part of marriage is very vital for the success of the marriage.
Therefore since marriage is also a spiritual act between to people who become one spiritual after marriage. (Genesis 2:24 – Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh).
Marriage being spiritual , the couple must invest in maintaining the marriage spiritually and that is by raising a prayer alter. Prayer is a very important factor for a successful marriage. Every marriage faces challenges that are larger than what the couple can handle naturally and that is when the element of prayer becomes vital to the survival of marriage. Challenges like unemployment, chronic diseases, rogue children or partners, business collapse and others are best survived in marriage by prayer. In order for your prayer to be effective you need to first ask God to do the following.
BE BORN AGAIN
“ Jesus answered and said unto him verily,verily , I say unto thee, except a man be born again he cannot see the kingdom of God.” John 3:3
“Marvel not that I said unto thee Ye must be born again.” John 3:7
You must accept Jesus to be your Lord and Savior.
SPIRIT FILLED
“But ye shall receive power after that the Holy Ghost is come upon you and ye shall be witnesses unto me both in Jerusalem and in all Judea and in Samaria and unto the uttermost part of the earth.” Acts 1 ;8
“And they were all filled with the Holy Ghost and began to speak with other tongues as the Spirit gave them utterance”, Acts 2:4
“While Peter yet spake these words, the Holy Ghost fell on all them which heard the word. And they of the cirmcision which believed were astonished as many as came with Peter, because that on the gentiles also was poured out the gift of the Holy Ghost. For they heard them speak with tongues and magnify God.Then answered Peter. “ Acts 10 :44 – 46

Desire to receive the gift of the Holy Spirit which is a separate experience from the salvation experience. This gift avails all the gifts of the Holy Spirit outlined in 1CORINTHIANS 12 to the believer with evidence of speaking in tongues.

WALK IN THE SPIRIT DAILY
Finally walk in the spirit which is to allow the Holy Spirit to guide You daily in every decision you make. That means before you make any significant decision you purposefully try to listen to God’s direction.
ESTABLISH A PEROSNAL DAILY PRAYER PROGRAMME
Before you develop your prayer programme as a couple you must each develop your own personal prayer programmes. Many times we find either one of the partners solely depending on their spouses prayers. This wears the praying partner down and can get to a point of ‘burn out’. This may drastically affect the marriage. Therefore the ideal situation is that each partner develops a focused prayer time individually first. Here are some prayer tips.
Pray early in the morning (Ps. 5:3)
“My voice shalt thou hear in the morning , O LORD; in the morning will I direct my prayer unto thee, and will look up”
Early mornings are ideal for prayer because there are few disruptions and you get to begin your day with prayer before you face the tasks and challenges of the day.
Find a place where it is quiet and free from distractions (Matt 14:23)
“And when he had sent the multitude away,he went up into a mountain apart to pray and when the evening was come he was there alone.”
Prayer is serious business and work. It requires good focus and a conducive environment. From the above scriptures we can see that the Lord Jesus Christ took prayer very seriously. He stopped ministry to make room for prayer. He looked for the most ideal environment where he could fully engage and focus on prayer. He prayed for long periods alone. Each partner in the marriage must emulate our Lord and Saviour.
Pray out loudly, it helps you concentrate (Ps. 3.4)
“ I cried unto the Lord with my voice and he heard me out of his holy hill.”
It is okay to pray out loud , in fact it is helps when you pray out loud. King David the writer of the book of pslams prayed out loud and testified that the Lord heard his prayer. Due to our religious and denominational orientations some believers feel that it is in appropriate to pray out loud. However from the holy scriptures we can see that is acceptable. God is not disturbed by our shouting or praying loudly like a librarian would be in a library. On contrary I believe that heaven will be quite “a noisy party”, with the holy angels blowing trumpets saints singing , shouting victory shouts and worshipping for thousands and thousands of years. Revelation 7:9 – 11 “After this I beheld and , lo , a great multitude which no man could number, of all nations kindreds and people and tongues stood before the throne and before the lamb clothed with white robes and palms in their hands. And cried with a loud voice saying , Salvation to our God which sitteth upon the throne and unto the Lamb. And all the angels stood round about the throne and about the elders and the four beasts and fell before the throne on their faces and worshipped God.” We can see a glimpse of heavenly activities from the above scriptures and confirm that it is “one big glorious noisy party”, and not a library lesson. Therefore if you plan to get to heaven, begin to practice here on earth with some prayer sessions that are loud and lively.
Pray from the heart . (Matt 6:5-7)
“And when thou prayest thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you. They have their reward. But thou when thou prayest enter into thy closet and when thou hast shut thy door pray to thy Father which is in secret and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly. But when ye pray use not vain repetitons as the heathen do : for they think that they shall reward thee openly. But when ye pray use not vain repetitions as the heathen do: for they think that they shall be heard for their much speaking.
The motives of all your prayers must be sincere and pure before God. It is not really the amount , or where or how we pray that captures God’s attention ,but the condition and motives of our hearts.
Listen to God (Jn 10: 2-5)
“But he that entereth in by the door is the shepherd of the sheep. To him the porter openeth and the sheep hear his voice and he calleth his own sheep by name and leadeth them out. And when he putteth forth his own sheep, he goeth before them and the sheep follow him: for they know his voice. And a stranger will they not follow , but will flee from him for they know not the voice of strangers.”
Prayer is not a monologue , but a dialogue between you and God. Prayer is communication between the earth and the heavens. Allow for time to be quiet during your prayer time to listen to God. You may ask , Pastor how does God speak? God speaks through his word , through circumstances , through the ‘small still voice in your heart’ and through his servants. How will I know it is God? You will have inner peace about it. I believe for me that this is the most important part of prayer. Hearing from God. In my walk with Him I have come to realize that it does not really matter what I tell him, because He already knows my needs and desires even before I ask. What is important is what He is saying to me. What he says to me has the ability to forever transform my life. Take good quality time during your prayers just to hear the mind of God about You.
Pray over the Word as you read it.
“Ye ask and receive not, because ye ask a miss, that ye may consume it upon your lusts. James 4:3
It is possible to pray outside the will of God as the above scriptures illustrates. One of the tools available to the believer to pray the will of God over our lives is His word. When your prayers are based on God’s word , you cannot pray a miss.
Pray in your understanding and in the Spirit (1 Cor 14:15).
“What is it then? I will pray with the spirit and I will pray with the understanding also: I will sing with the spirit and I will sing with the understanding also”
There are moments when you have to pray in the understanding to built faith and expectation. There also moments that you need to pray in the Spirit to allow the Holy Spirit to pray through you and to edify your inner man.
Pray from a clean heart (Ps 66:18)
“ If I regard iniquity in my heart the Lord will not hear me.” God answers our prayers depending to the conditions of our hearts. If our hearts are full of jealousy, unforgiveness and bitterness we cannot expect a breakthrough in our prayers. Have time in your prayer sessions where you repent of known and unknown sins. Purposefully choose to forgive those who sin against you. Do not allow bitterness of any kind to form in your heart. Do not hold those who wrong you. Forgive them.
Pray in faith (Mk . 11:24)
“Therefore I say unto you, What things soever ye desire when ye pray believe that ye receive them and ye shall have them” . God has given us an open cheque when it comes to prayer. The conditions to cash this spiritual cheque are three according to the above scripture a)desire – You must want it strongly , expect it to have it, be unsatisfied until you receive it. b) believe – be confident about your answered prayer, accept / regard as true even before you see it. c)receive – get / possess before it manifests /express willingness to receive and accept as true and valid even before it happens in the natural. Regard as favorable and with thanksgiving.
Be bold before God (Heb 4:16)
“Let us therefore come bodly unto the throne of grace that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.” Approch the throne of grace bodly. Enter into God’s presence with confidence , because your are a child of a loving God who has became your Father through your faith in Christ Jesus. Do not fear . God is willing to answer your prayers more than you know.
Do not give up. ( Luke 18:1)
“And he spake a parable unto them to this end, that men ought always to pray and not to faint.” Do not faint .Prayer can sometimes be hard word, but be persistent. The flesh , the human body hates prayer , but do not surrender. Pray until something happens. Do not give up.
Use the Lords prayer as a model (matt 6:9 -13)
The Lord’s prayer is not just a prayer ,but a model or guide of prayer. In the scriptures the disciples asked Jesus to teach them how to pray. They wanted to have a formulae of effective prayer. Jesus gave them the outline to use while praying. The outline includes a) Adoration – hallowed be thy name b) Petition – thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven c) Supplication – give us this day our daily bread d) repentance – forgive us our debts e) Guidance- lead us not into temptation f) Spiritual warfare – deliver us from evil
Study the Word of God.
Make a yearly bible study plan
Mark passages in the bible which speak to you directly
Take notes of what you learn
Memorize special passages
Read the bible slowly meditating on each verse.
Get a prayer Journal / notebook where you write daily about your walk and thoughts with God. Incude special needs and answered prayers.
Written and Compiled by
Willy Ochieng
Senior Pastor
Busia Lighthouse Church.