HEALING OF THE SOUL AND SPIRIT OF MAN SERIES 002 – PAIN AND HURT

HEALING OF THE SOUL AND SPIRIT OF MAN SERIES 002 – PAIN AND HURT CAUSED BY INNER VOWS
“Do not swear at all …..Simply let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes’, and ‘No ‘, anything beyond this comes from the evil one. Matthew 5:34, 37 NIV
“Come now, you who say , “Today or Tommorrow, we shall go to such and such a city, and spend a year there and engage in business and make a profit. “Yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away. Instead, you ought to say, If the Lord wills we shall live and also do this or that .” But as it is , you boast in your arrogance; all such boasting is evil. Therefore, to one who knows the right thing to do, and does not do it, to him it is sin. (James 4:13 – 17)
WHAT ARE INNER VOWS ?
The promises or statements one makes as a result of the negative expectations he/she holds. It is an inner determination we make to ourselves normally at a young age to keep us from ever being hurt again. Because we normally make them early in life we often forget that we made them.
Biblically and spiritually an oath is a legally binding contract.
“Or if anyone, without thought, takes an oath to do evil or to do good, whatever he says without thought, with an oath, having no knowledge of what he is doing; when it becomes clear to him, he will be responsible for any of these things.” Leviticus 5:4 BBE
TESTIMONY
I come from a very musical family; both my father and mother are great singers. All my siblings Victor, George and Cynthia (now late) have beautiful voices. I am the odd one out. Interestingly as a child I remember singing and leading my family in worship songs. An incident occurred when I was about twelve or thirteen years. My younger brothers and I were actively involved in our local church musical group. We were so excited about the group and actively engaged in composing songs and singing. There was one particular song that I contributed immensely to its composition and really wanted to be the lead singer. While practicing I insisted on leading it. Others also wanted to be the lead singers. As I child I thought I was best placed to lead it, being the oldest and having contributed more to composing it. However the group thought that my leading the song was terrible. I was so hurt especially when my own brothers made fun of my singing. I quietly said to myself “I will never sing again or lead a song”. From that moment I lost all interest in singing. In high school I had to take music as a subject. I hated it. Amazingly I still used to be the top of my music theory class. When I got to form three I dropped the subject I really hated. I had lost my ability and to sing, because of the inner vow I had made never to sing. This became a big challenge when I got involved in active Christian ministry where I was required to sing from time to time. Singing became a big handicap for me. I thank God for the continued work of the Holy Spirit today my singing has improved greatly and I love to worship the Lord in song. However I still rely heavily on my wife Nancy and other anointed servants of God to lead worship at our church. That is a simple illustration how an inner vow can drastically affect your personality.
We use inner vows as type of personal fortress or stronghold where our emotions can be safe from ever being hurt again. The inner vows we make protect us from pain, but they are harmful in the long run and can hinder us from reaching our full potential in life.
“For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds”. 2COR 10:4 KJV
Scriptures says guard your hearts (Prov 4:23). But we are to do this by God’s strength and motives not our own. When we depend on our own strength and flesh to protect us using the vows we have made internally, we idolize our own abilities instead on depending on God and that is a form of Idolatry. We normally make inner vows beginning with the following words, “I will,” “I won’t “, “I will never”, “I will always”. This words indicate self-determination, pushing “SELF”, onto the Centre stage of your life and decisions while , God is pushed into the background.
Case Study: Susan (not her real name) came for counseling. By any standards Susan is a beautiful successful African lady. She is a senior nurse at the county referral hospital. She is currently pursuing her Master’s degree in nursing. She is actively involved in her local church choir. She provides comfortable living for her aging mum and supports most of her nephews and nieces with their schooling expenses. Apart from her work at the hospital , Susan and her younger sister have set up a successful hair salon in the upmarket part of the town.
In spite of being one of the few success story in this part of the world. Susan is struggling with a serious problem. Next November, Susan will turn 48. By African standards, Susan is fairly late for marriage. The pressure is piling on Susan to get married. Some of her maternal aunts have even schemed for her to get married as a second wife (polygamy in Africa is accepted under customary law). They consider this delay a shame or a curse in their family.
Susan desires to get married to a good serious Christian man, in a proper Christian marriage. She just does not understand what the problem is. She began dating at twenty eight years and has been in about a dozen relationships. Most of her past relationships began well and a few got to the level of engagement. Unfortunately they all seem to break at some point for unexplained reasons. She simply loses interest or the gentleman loses interest. It has simply been difficult for her to get into a relationship that can lead to marriage. Initially she excused herself for being busy creating the career she desired. Now that she is more settled and stable she still has the same problem.
When Nancy and I took her through counseling we began to understand the genesis of the problem. When Susan was 7yrs old, her father left Susan’s mum for another woman. Susan’s mum was left to take care of Susan and her two older brothers. Susan watched the pain and struggle her mother went through to bring them up alone. She felt the pain of rejection. As a child she somehow blamed herself for her father living them. Susan at that tender age made a decision.
“ Men are unreliable , I will take care of everything myself”. Over the years , she simply forgot the inner vow she made and moved on to be successful , fuelled by this inner vow. However the same vow that made her to excel and succeed in life also haunted her in the area of marriage.
Common inner vows we make at an early age.
I will never cry again
I will never sing
I will always be strong
I will never open up again
I will never get angry
I will never trust men again
I will never trust women again
I will do everything perfectly

The children also made vows that caused them pain and harm. Numbers 14:2 “ All the Israelis complained against Moses and Aaron. Then the entire assembly responded, “We wish that we had died in Egypt or in this wilderness.” The children of Israel had confessed again and again that they were going to die in the wilderness. They expected to die. They said they would die and sure enough, God said “I am going to give exactly what you are believing for and confessing. You will die in the wilderness.”

How To differentiate the different stronghold that affect our spiritual hygiene
A foundational lie is what we believe
A Bitter root judgment is how we judge
A bitter root /negative expectancy is what we expect
An Inner Vow is a promise to protect oneself from further hurt
Soul tie when you enter into a covenant with another person
Generational sins and curses sin energy passed on from one generation to another through the family line
Trauma leaves negative pictures that produce sin energy or demonic energy.
CHARACTERISTICS OF AN INNER VOW
Inner vows are common to most people. We use it as a defense mechanism to avoid future hurt and shame.
Inner vows are mostly unspoken and appear like a vivid thought in your mind. However sometimes they are consciously spoken in an audible voice.
Inner vows are strong and they command us to think, act and feel only as they instruct us.
They get ingrained into our characters and personalities and take a life of their own. They begin to produce bitter fruits in our lives.
True sincere repentance is the only remedy. The effects of inner vows cannot simply disapper when we receive Jesus. We must identify the sin and specifically repent to destroy their effects in our lives.

We have all made many inner vows of varying intensity and tenacity. There are good and helpful vows as well as destructive ones. Even the good vows need to be dealt with at the cross of Calvary and released so that we are not lead by the flesh , but by the Spirit. Inner vows act in our lives as a software programme does in a computer. The software installed in the computer determines the functionality of the computer. The computer cannot simply execute functions not installed in its software. Inner vows act in the same in the same way in our lives. We get ourselves doing the same undesirable actions we would like to change. Until the “software”(inner vow) is upgraded or changed we simply remain the same.

Our habit provide a platform for our inner vows to function
It is through our habits that we fulfill the programmes designed by our inner vows. Hence as we repent of the inner vows it is also proper we repent the habits that are associated with them. An inner vow to withdraw might be fulfilled through spending a lot of time on your phone or T.V, isolating from others, or refusing to talk. An inner vow to not feel , might be fulfilled through addictions, denial or avoiding relationships. When you repent of the inner vows you remove the power of sowing and reaping. Therefore some habits disappear immediately own their own. In some instances you must deliberately dismantle through repentance the bitter fruits caused by the inner vow. You must also establish new disciplines especially in cases of addictions.

QUESTION:- ARE ALL INNER VOWS WE MAKE TO OURSELVES EVIL?
ABOSLUTELY NOT. A righteous resolution is a pure desire to do what is right, empowered by grace.
I will be a loving mom unlike my mom
I will never drink or smoke like my step dad
Nevertheless an inner vows are motivated by bitterness and self-protection. Therefore even one that seems righteous can coerce to act in a way that is not righteous.
An inner vow to always be gentle might coerce us to be gentle even when God calls us to be stern.
An inner vow to always be “honest” might coerce us to be abrupt even when we should be tactful.
“GOOD INNER VOWS CAN BACKFIRE”
CASE STUDY: – Mark’s late father was a proud polygamous African man. In his generation polygamy was regarded as a sign of wealth, prosperity and honour. Although Mark and his siblings considered their childhood blissful in thier large extended polygamous family. He also related well with his three step mothers and their children in their large home in the village. Mark had many questions about polygamy. He could not help, but notice the absence of his father for long periods of time. His father had to share his time and attention amongst his four wives and twenty three children. It is no wonder that Mark would not have a reasonable conversation with his father for several months at a time. The wives and the children all squabbled and fought for their husband and fathers attention. At his father’s deathbed, Mark had developed “steel in his veins”, and did not care any more about his relationship with his father. All he cared about was his hurting mother who was despised by her co-wives. Being the third wife she was considered a home wrecker. Mark made up his mind and internally declared “I will never be polygamous like my father”. He made this decision out of the pain he and his mother had experienced in their family. Several years later Mark married Emily in a large well attended wedding. The first seven years of their marriage were amazing and Mark was a loving father to his son and daughter. He loved his wife and gave her a lot of attention. Then out of the blues Mark found himself cheating on his wife with the secretary at the office. He was remorseful for his terrible action and purposed to change, by becoming more religious and attending church regularly. Unfortunately the negative habit persisted. He soon found himself with a string of mistresses all depending on him and some bearing his children. By the time he got counsel it was too late. He wife wanted nothing, but a divorce. What happened? Mark’s good inner vow not to be polygamous had backfired. It had put him in a worse place compared to His father.
When we bitterly vow never to do evil, it works in reverse. Eg “I will never be angry, like my mom”, can actually cause a person to become angry.
“I ‘ll never cheat on my wife, like Dad,” can predispose a person towards cheating on his / her spouse.
Reasons for this results :- Bitter Root Judgment and Expectations;- we become like those we judge :- Resentment cannot produce a righteous deed

We must die to all inner vows, “good or bad, so that righteousness is by God’s grace and not by our striving.
Gal 3:3 “Are you so foolish? Having begun by the Spirit , are you now being perfected by the flesh?

Prescription for healing of Soul and Spirit from the Negative effects of inner vows:- Recognize the inner vows you made, a good starting point is identifying the pain or hurt that motivated the inner vow. Many inner vows are not made at any one moment, but are formed over time. Many inner vows were not put into words, but are revealed by your actions. You can see the evidence in the fruit. The next step is repentance. Pray and renounce the inner vow. Forgive all those who tempted you to make the inner vow. Nail the inner vow to the Cross of Calvary and reckon that it is dead. Bless those who wronged you and you wronged and declare victory and a new beginning.
NB:- The ideal situation is to find a Trained Christian Prayer Counselor to guide you through the process.
You are not able to access prayer counselor use the guide above and let the Holy Spirit lead you. You can also pray using the guide below.

PRAYER ABOUT INNER VOWS
Put word to the vow as specifically as possible.
Lord, I renounce this strong promise I made to myself. I ask you to break its power in my life, that my spirit and my body not remember it. Set me free to be restored to your original design for me. Please lift out of my life the requirement to fill, think, and act according to this vow.
Lord, this has been a defense, a hiding place to keep myself from being hurt; it has become my very own homemade armour. I know that this homemade protection blocks out the love, warmth and nature I long for. I come to you because I am powerless to change. Come into my life and dismantled this vow. I want You to be my defense. Lord, help me become vulnerable, able to risk love. Father, I forgive _________ (the people who wounded me and tempted me to make this vow and hardened my heart)
As a set of my will and my heart, I choose this day to let You take down my walls of isolation and connect me to the others within my family and your body, but in a way that honours and builds up rather than crushes and tears down. I declare this regardless of the storm of emotion or the absence of emotions. I give You the loaves and fishes of my trust – I trust Your timing and sequencing of events with as much trust as I have. Lord mend my trust in You. I know that peoples love is not always trustworthy. But for those times when it was, forgive me, Jesus for not trusting the love offered me by ____________ ( my spouse, children, fellow Christians). I ask You to bring people into my life who know how to love unconditionally and still have the courage to hold me accountable. Amen.

Compiled by Pst Willy Ochieng
Primary Resources : The transformation of the inner man by John & Paula Sanford